Saturday, July 13, 2024

A FATHER’s OUTLOOK by Jagjit Rana


“Good things are often birthed from adversity.” This quote possibly couldn’t have been proved truer during this pandemic era. Most of us have gone through an internal churning and coped with our own ways and means. New hobbies were discovered. Innovative ways of keeping self and family occupied were implemented.

I discovered my passion of writing during this epidemic. I have been an avid reader for almost two decades and have a small collectible personal library. As a reader I have always dreamt of writing a book myself. As mentioned, the lockdown precisely gave that opportunity. And what better subject than to write of your experiences.

Parenthood is being discussed widely and vividly in current times. When two individuals decide to take a leap into parenthood, it must be a logical and calculated graduation. Present day parenthood is not meant to be accidental but a planned enunciation. Scenarios in Indian metros do make the things complicated. Other than being a financial burden, it can be emotionally taxing to be a parent…for sure if you are not prepared for it. There must be enough planning and discussions. Bringing up a child is no more only a mother’s job. This farce has been long defeated and most of us have started acknowledging it. Father’s involvement in the upbringing of the kids is a must; for the well-being of the individual and society. It must be an equally divided responsibility, with both the partners sure about the roles they are going to play. It’s more of complementing each other. In the cases where both the parents are working, fathers have to step up the ante. For this he must be ready to go an extra mile and make an extra effort to maintain the sanity in the household. This would only be acknowledged when he starts respecting and acknowledging the role of a mother. Both may have respective careers and may be doing well in their professions, but for sure he must remember that she has taken a toll on her physicality while going through the period of gestation. Although it’s unfair to compare the physical strengths of the genders, but for consideration sake, he needs to put an extra effort when it comes to physical support of bringing up kids. This becomes more testing in the case of second kid, as it can be more taxing due to the age paradigm. There is a trend of at least having a five-year gap between the kids and looking at the prevailing stats, for sure the second kid arrives when the parents are well past their mid-thirties. Physically it becomes taxing for one parent to go through the whole cacophony.

Considering the above scenario, for sure it’s not a guide book on how to be effective parent or father; for clarification sake, but an opinion of what can work out. As parents, we for sure were/are definitive about the numbers of kids we wanted and the roles which each of us will play in bringing them up. I don’t boast to be the best father, but from my experiences and from my leanings (and some are mega errors) for sure can judge what went wrong and what could have been the better alternative.  There is no right or wrong parenting. A thing which is right for one can be totally opposite for another family. Wherever we judge, we should always take the current societal norms in accordance and decide. Every parent thinks that they are doing the best for their kids, but you will surely see some parents stand out as being more involved and more receptive to the kids. The amount of time they are spending with the kids and the level of involvement in the various activities are quite perceptible. The sole purpose of this book is to make a connect with other parents and make them think and compare their own household and see if they also share the same viewpoint or can take these views as reference and mold them as it suits their thinking. Parenthood is bliss…cherish it.




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